Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
In America we eat man semen.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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