Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
we're so committed to being not committed
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
