Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
