it's too hot outside to masturbate.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
