your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
