Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
