He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
