They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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