I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
we're so committed to being not committed
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
