yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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