This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
