i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
