How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It's shark week go big or go home
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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