fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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