so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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