We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
is wine microwaveable?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
