yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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