Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
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