Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
