he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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