What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
