I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
