You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
