took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Success! We fucked roommates!
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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