Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
