IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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