No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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