dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
