An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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