i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
