I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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