so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
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