3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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