I CAN MOONWALK!
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize