mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
