I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
