Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
