Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
