It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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