I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
