super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
