yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
tell me about the eggs
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
