I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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