Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize