fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
