ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Randomize
