So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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