I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
