The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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