so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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