Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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