Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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