Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
