Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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