I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
