I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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