Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Oh god it's open bar.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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