All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize