Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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