Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize