So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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