Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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