she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
