I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
